Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
