forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
