Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
