Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
