I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
