i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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