what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
