im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
