why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
