xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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