Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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