why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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