You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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