Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
