it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize