Three words: puerto rican gang bang
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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