Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
