batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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