people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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