what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
