my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
