just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
