Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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