I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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