My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
