3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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