Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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