I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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