Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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