This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
