i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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