Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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