dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize