Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
