i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
