so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
