I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My boob is missing a layer of skin
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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