i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
