Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
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Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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