We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
