I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
