you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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