honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
