You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
where are you?
Hypothermia
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
