Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
