We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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