I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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