I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
