U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
