Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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