Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
