how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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