You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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