the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
