Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm going to jail i love you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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