omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
