TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
