Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
