dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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