I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
