We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
love makes seman taste better
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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