she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
